What is Soaking in Mormon Wives: Understanding a Complex Practice

My journey into understanding the nuances of "soaking" within the context of Mormon wives began not with academic study, but with a deeply personal encounter. I remember a conversation years ago with a friend, Sarah, who was a devout member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (often colloquially referred to as Mormons). We were discussing relationships, intimacy, and the unique challenges faced by couples navigating faith-based expectations. Sarah, with a quiet intensity, mentioned "soaking" as something that had been discussed in her ward council and was part of a broader conversation about marital intimacy. At the time, I confess, the term was unfamiliar, and it sparked a curiosity that has lingered ever since.

So, what is soaking in Mormon wives? At its core, soaking is a term used by some members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to describe a specific approach to marital intimacy, characterized by a prolonged period of physical closeness and affection without the immediate expectation or focus on penetrative intercourse or orgasm. The emphasis is on fostering deep emotional and physical connection, shared pleasure, and mutual exploration within the marital bond. It’s a practice that, while not officially endorsed or even widely discussed by the Church hierarchy, has found its way into the private conversations and marital experiences of some Latter-day Saint couples.

It's crucial to understand that "soaking" isn't a formal doctrine or a universally practiced aspect of Latter-day Saint marital life. Rather, it emerges from a desire within some couples to align their physical intimacy with their faith's teachings on the sanctity of marriage and the importance of love, connection, and mutual respect. The term itself can be a bit of a misnomer, as it implies a passive state. However, those who practice it often describe it as an active, intentional, and deeply connecting experience. It’s about savoring the moment, exploring each other’s bodies and emotions, and fostering a profound sense of unity, all within the sacred covenant of marriage as understood in their faith.

Theological Underpinnings and Marital Harmony

To truly grasp what soaking entails for Mormon wives and their husbands, it’s essential to touch upon the theological framework that often informs their approach to marriage and intimacy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that marriage is a sacred ordinance, ordained by God, and that the physical relationship between husband and wife is a vital part of that union. It's viewed as a gift from God, intended for the expression of love, the procreation of children, and the strengthening of the marital bond. This perspective sets a high bar for marital intimacy, viewing it not merely as a physical act but as a spiritual and emotional one as well.

The Church’s official stance, as articulated in various publications and teachings, emphasizes that sexual relations are to be confined strictly within the bounds of legal and ethical marriage. When practiced within marriage, sexual intimacy is considered not only permissible but also a commandment and a sacred privilege. However, the specifics of *how* couples engage in intimacy are generally left to their private discretion, guided by principles of love, respect, and mutual consent. This is where practices like "soaking" can emerge as a response to a desire to deepen that sacred connection, moving beyond a purely goal-oriented approach to intimacy.

The concept of "celestial marriage" also plays a significant role. Latter-day Saints believe that marriages performed in their temples can be "sealed" for eternity, meaning the bond between husband and wife continues beyond this life. This eternal perspective undoubtedly influences how couples approach their earthly relationships, including their physical intimacy. The desire to foster a connection that is not only fulfilling in this life but also enduring into the eternities can lead to a more intentional and tender approach to marital intimacy. Soaking, in this context, can be seen as an effort to cultivate a love and understanding that transcends the purely physical, aiming for a profound spiritual and emotional resonance.

Furthermore, the emphasis on “one flesh” in scripture, often cited in discussions of marital union, is interpreted by many Latter-day Saints as encompassing not just the physical act but the entirety of a couple’s shared life and experience. Soaking, with its focus on prolonged connection and mutual exploration, can be a way for couples to strive for this deeper sense of oneness, where their emotional, spiritual, and physical selves are interwoven.

Defining "Soaking" in Practical Terms

So, what does "soaking" look like in practice? It’s not a rigid set of instructions but rather a flexible approach. At its heart, it involves a conscious decision by both partners to prioritize prolonged physical closeness and affection without the pressure of achieving a specific outcome, such as intercourse or orgasm. This might include:

Extended Foreplay and Affection: This is perhaps the most central element. Soaking often involves a significant amount of time dedicated to kissing, hugging, caressing, and mutual touching. The goal is to build arousal and connection gradually and deeply.
Mutual Exploration and Discovery: Couples might use this time to explore each other's bodies more intimately, discovering new erogenous zones or simply rediscovering familiar ones with renewed attention and appreciation. This isn't necessarily about achieving new heights of pleasure for oneself but about sharing pleasure and intimacy with one's spouse.
Focus on Emotional Connection: While physical, soaking is deeply intertwined with emotional connection. Couples might whisper affirmations, share tender words, or simply bask in the shared feeling of love and closeness. The physical touch is often a conduit for expressing and receiving emotional intimacy.
Absence of Pressure: A key differentiator is the removal of pressure. There's no immediate expectation that the encounter must lead to intercourse or orgasm. If it does, it's a natural progression of the shared experience, not the sole objective. This can alleviate performance anxiety and allow for a more relaxed and enjoyable experience for both partners.
Savoring the Experience: The term "soaking" itself suggests immersing oneself in the experience. It's about slowing down, being present in the moment, and fully appreciating the physical and emotional intimacy being shared.
Varied Forms of Intimacy: While it may or may not include intercourse, soaking can encompass a wide range of physical expressions of love and affection. This might include oral intimacy, mutual masturbation, or simply holding each other close, feeling the warmth and presence of the other. The emphasis is on what feels good and connecting for *both* partners.

It's important to note that what one couple considers "soaking" might differ slightly from another. The beauty of this approach lies in its adaptability. It’s about finding what works for a specific couple within their faith framework, fostering a sense of unity and deepened love. My conversations with women within the faith have revealed that this often stems from a desire to go beyond a "checklist" approach to intimacy, focusing instead on a holistic experience of connection.

Navigating the "Unofficial" Nature of Soaking

One of the most significant aspects of "soaking" within the context of Mormon wives is its unofficial nature. You won't find explicit directives about "soaking" in the official handbook of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This is by design, as the Church generally trusts couples to manage their marital intimacy with wisdom and faith. However, this also means that conversations about it can be somewhat veiled, leading to misunderstandings or a sense of isolation for couples who are exploring it.

The term "soaking" itself is a colloquialism, born out of private discussions among members. It's often shared through word-of-mouth, at firesides (informal Church gatherings), or in confidence between trusted friends or couples. This informal transmission can contribute to its mystique and, at times, its misinterpretation. Some might hear the term and imagine something illicit or outside the bounds of their faith, when in reality, for many, it’s a sincere effort to honor their covenants and deepen their marital bond.

My understanding is that this approach often arises from a desire to reconcile traditional teachings about the sanctity of sex within marriage with a modern understanding of intimacy that prioritizes emotional connection and mutual pleasure. Some women, in particular, may feel that traditional approaches to intercourse can sometimes feel overly focused on male satisfaction, and soaking offers a way to ensure their own pleasure and emotional fulfillment are equally valued and explored within the marital context. It’s a way to say, "Our intimacy is not just about a physical act; it’s about the complete union of our hearts, minds, and bodies."

The lack of official guidance means that couples exploring soaking often rely on their own interpretation of scripture, their understanding of Church teachings on love and marriage, and their personal experiences. This can be liberating for some, allowing for a highly personalized approach. For others, it might create a sense of uncertainty, as they seek reassurance that their chosen path is in alignment with their faith.

The "Why" Behind Soaking: Motivations and Goals

The motivations for exploring "soaking" within Latter-day Saint marriages are multifaceted and deeply personal. While the core desire is often to enhance marital intimacy, the specific reasons can vary. Some of the primary drivers include:

Deepening Emotional and Spiritual Connection: Beyond the physical, many couples engage in soaking to foster a more profound emotional and spiritual bond. They believe that prolonged, tender physical closeness can open avenues for deeper communication, vulnerability, and a shared sense of spiritual unity. This aligns with the Latter-day Saint emphasis on "becoming one" in marriage.
Enhancing Mutual Pleasure and Satisfaction: Some couples feel that conventional approaches to intercourse may not always prioritize mutual pleasure. Soaking offers a framework to explore each other's bodies and desires in a less goal-oriented manner, allowing for greater focus on shared enjoyment and satisfaction. This can be particularly important for women, who may have different physiological responses to sexual stimulation.
Alleviating Pressure and Anxiety: For couples who experience performance anxiety or feel pressure to meet certain expectations during intimacy, soaking can be a liberating approach. By removing the immediate focus on intercourse or orgasm, it allows for a more relaxed and enjoyable experience, fostering a sense of safety and freedom.
Honoring Covenants and the Sanctity of Marriage: As previously mentioned, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that marital intimacy is a sacred gift. Soaking can be a way for couples to express their reverence for this gift and to ensure their physical union is a reflection of their commitment to each other and to God. It’s a conscious effort to imbue their sexual relationship with spiritual significance.
Fostering Communication and Understanding: The practice of prolonged intimacy can create a safe space for couples to communicate their desires, boundaries, and needs more openly. This can lead to a greater understanding of each other's bodies and preferences, ultimately strengthening their marital relationship.
Strengthening the Marital Bond: Ultimately, the overarching goal of soaking is often to strengthen the marital bond. By prioritizing connection, affection, and shared pleasure, couples aim to build a more resilient, loving, and intimate relationship that can withstand the challenges of life.

From my perspective, observing these motivations reveals a profound commitment to building a strong, Christ-centered marriage. It's not about seeking novelty for its own sake, but about intentionally cultivating a deeper, more meaningful connection within the sacred covenant of marriage. It speaks to a desire for a holistic intimacy that nourishes both the physical and spiritual aspects of the marital union.

Potential Challenges and Considerations

While "soaking" can be a beautiful and beneficial practice for some Latter-day Saint couples, it's not without its potential challenges. Navigating intimacy, especially within a faith tradition that has specific teachings on the matter, can be complex. Here are some considerations:

Misinterpretation and Stigma: Because "soaking" is an informal term and not widely discussed openly, it can be subject to misinterpretation. Some individuals outside of this practice might view it with suspicion or even judge it as outside the norms of their faith. This can lead to feelings of isolation or shame for couples who are genuinely trying to deepen their marital connection.
Communication Breakdowns: Even with good intentions, couples can encounter communication challenges. If one partner is enthusiastic about exploring soaking and the other is hesitant or uncomfortable, it can create friction. Open, honest, and empathetic communication is paramount.
Differing Desires and Libidos: Like any couple, Latter-day Saint couples can experience differences in sexual desire or preferred approaches to intimacy. Soaking, while aiming for mutual pleasure, still requires careful negotiation and compromise to ensure both partners feel heard and respected.
The Pressure to "Perform" Even in Soaking: While the intention is to remove pressure, the idea of prolonged intimacy can, for some, inadvertently create a new form of pressure to "do it right" or to achieve a certain level of emotional or physical connection.
Lack of External Guidance: The absence of official Church guidance on specific intimacy practices can be a double-edged sword. While it allows for freedom, it also means couples may not have readily available resources or established frameworks for navigating potential difficulties or seeking counsel.
Balancing "Soaking" with Other Forms of Intimacy: For some couples, the focus on prolonged closeness might inadvertently lead to a reduction in other forms of sexual expression they enjoy. Finding a healthy balance that incorporates various aspects of intimacy is important.

My experience, listening to and observing couples, suggests that the success of any approach to marital intimacy, including soaking, hinges on a foundation of mutual respect, open communication, and a shared commitment to the well-being of the relationship. When these elements are present, challenges can be navigated with grace and understanding.

The Role of Communication and Consent

At the very heart of any healthy marital intimacy, including the practice of "soaking," lies open and honest communication, underpinned by enthusiastic consent. This is not just a modern relationship ideal; it is deeply congruent with the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints regarding love, respect, and mutual regard within marriage.

Open Dialogue: Couples who successfully incorporate soaking into their marital lives often do so because they have cultivated a safe space for dialogue about their desires, fears, and expectations concerning intimacy. This means talking about what feels good, what doesn't, what they are curious about exploring, and what boundaries are important. This isn't a one-time conversation but an ongoing process.

Enthusiastic Consent: Consent in marriage, even within a faith tradition that views sex as sacred, must be enthusiastic. This means that both partners are actively and joyfully agreeing to the intimacy they are sharing. It's not about going along with something out of obligation or fear of upsetting the other. For soaking, this means both partners are eager to engage in the prolonged closeness and affection, not just one partner pushing for it while the other passively agrees.

Checking In: During extended periods of intimacy, it can be incredibly beneficial for partners to check in with each other, both verbally and non-verbally. A simple "Are you okay?" or "Do you like this?" can go a long way. Similarly, paying attention to body language, vocalizations, and overall demeanor can provide important cues.

Respecting Boundaries: Consent also means respecting boundaries. If one partner expresses discomfort or a desire to change the pace or focus, the other partner must honor that immediately and without complaint. This builds trust and ensures that intimacy remains a positive and safe experience for both.

I recall a friend sharing how, early in her marriage, she was hesitant to express certain desires, fearing her husband might think less of her. Once they started making a conscious effort to talk about their intimate lives openly, she discovered he had similar anxieties and was eager for her to share. This opened up a whole new level of connection and understanding for them, and it’s a testament to how vital communication is, especially when exploring less conventional approaches like soaking.

Practical Steps for Couples Exploring Soaking

For couples within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are interested in exploring "soaking" as a way to deepen their marital intimacy, here are some practical steps they might consider:

Educate Yourselves (Together): Read Church materials on the sanctity of marriage and marital intimacy. Discuss what resonates with you and how you want your own intimacy to reflect those principles. Look for resources that emphasize mutual respect and love within sexual relationships.
Initiate Open Conversation: Set aside dedicated time to talk about your desires, expectations, and any curiosities you might have regarding intimacy. Choose a neutral time and place, free from distractions and pressure. Frame it as a joint exploration of how to enhance your marital connection.
Define "Soaking" for Yourselves: Since it's not a rigid definition, discuss what soaking means to both of you. Is it about prolonged foreplay? Mutual exploration? A lack of immediate pressure for intercourse? Agree on what you aim to achieve together.
Prioritize Atmosphere and Connection: Create a relaxed and intimate atmosphere. This might involve setting aside dedicated time, ensuring privacy, and focusing on emotional connection before or during physical intimacy. Think about what helps you both feel most connected and at ease.
Focus on Mutual Pleasure: Make a conscious effort to explore and prioritize each other's pleasure. This means paying attention to your spouse's reactions, asking what feels good, and being willing to experiment together.
Embrace Slowing Down: Intentionally slow down your physical intimacy. Allow ample time for kissing, touching, and caressing. Resist the urge to rush towards a specific outcome. Savor the process of connecting physically and emotionally.
Practice Active Listening and Observation: Pay close attention to your spouse's verbal and non-verbal cues. Listen attentively to their feedback and desires. Observe their body language to gauge their comfort and enjoyment.
Be Patient and Persistent: Intimacy is a journey. There may be times when it feels awkward or doesn't go as planned. Be patient with yourselves and with each other. Continue to communicate and adjust your approach as needed.
Seek Professional Help if Needed: If you encounter significant challenges with communication, differing desires, or emotional barriers, consider seeking guidance from a qualified marriage counselor or therapist, ideally one who understands faith-based perspectives.
Regularly Re-evaluate: Your needs and desires may change over time. Periodically revisit your conversations about intimacy and ensure that your approach continues to serve your marital connection and reflect your shared values.

This checklist is designed to be a starting point, encouraging intentionality and partnership in the exploration of intimacy. It emphasizes that the goal is not a specific technique but a deeper, more connected marital experience.

Understanding the "Mormon" Context

It is essential to clarify that while the term "Mormon" is often used colloquially, members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints generally prefer to be identified by the full name of their Church. This preference stems from a desire to be recognized for their faith in Jesus Christ, rather than being associated with a historical figure. So, when discussing practices like "soaking," it's important to do so with sensitivity and accuracy, recognizing the specific religious and cultural context.

The cultural landscape of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is rich and varied. While there are common threads of belief and practice, individual experiences and interpretations can differ significantly. This is particularly true when it comes to personal matters like marital intimacy. The Church emphasizes principles and values, leaving much of the application to the discretion of individual members and couples.

The teachings within the Church strongly advocate for marital fidelity, mutual respect, and the sanctity of marriage. Sexual intimacy is viewed as a sacred part of this union, intended to strengthen the bonds between husband and wife and, when appropriate, to bring forth children. However, the Church does not typically provide explicit instructions on the mechanics of sexual intercourse or other forms of intimacy. This leaves couples to navigate these aspects within the framework of their faith, guided by principles of love, charity, and seeking the Lord's guidance.

The emergence of terms like "soaking" is a testament to the way individuals within the faith actively seek to apply their understanding of gospel principles to all aspects of their lives, including their marital relationships. It's a sign of couples striving for a deeper, more meaningful connection that aligns with their eternal perspective on marriage. My personal observations suggest that many Latter-day Saint couples are deeply committed to building strong, Christ-centered marriages, and their exploration of intimacy often stems from this profound commitment.

Frequently Asked Questions About Soaking in Mormon Wives

What is the Church's Official Stance on Soaking?

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints does not have an official stance on the practice of "soaking" because it is a term and a practice that has emerged organically from discussions among members rather than being a formal doctrine or guideline. The Church generally trusts married couples to manage their intimacy within the sacred bounds of marriage, guided by principles of love, respect, and mutual consent. Official Church handbooks and teachings focus on the sanctity of marriage and the importance of sexual intimacy within that covenant, emphasizing that it is a gift from God to be used for expressing love, strengthening the marital bond, and for the procreation of children. There are no specific pronouncements or condemnations of "soaking" as it is understood by those who practice it, as long as it occurs within the confines of a legal and eternal marriage and is mutually consensual. The Church encourages couples to seek inspiration and guidance in their personal lives, and this would extend to their intimate relationship.

It's important to understand that the absence of an official "yes" or "no" does not mean the Church is indifferent to marital intimacy. On the contrary, it is considered a sacred aspect of the marriage covenant. However, the Church focuses on the underlying principles of love, commitment, and mutual respect, allowing couples the freedom and responsibility to navigate the specifics of their physical relationship. Therefore, if a couple feels that "soaking" enhances their connection and aligns with their understanding of gospel principles, and it is done with mutual consent and love, it is unlikely to be considered contrary to Church teachings. However, if there is any pressure, coercion, or violation of mutual desire, that would be contrary to the principles of healthy relationships and gospel teachings on respect and agency.

Is Soaking Considered a Sin in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

No, "soaking," as it is generally understood among members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is not considered a sin. The core tenets of the Church regarding marital intimacy emphasize that sexual relations are sacred and ordained by God within the bounds of legal and eternal marriage. The purpose of this intimacy is to express love, strengthen the marital bond, and, for those who are able, to bring forth children. "Soaking" typically describes a prolonged period of physical closeness, affection, and mutual exploration that emphasizes connection and shared pleasure, often without the immediate expectation or sole focus on penetrative intercourse or orgasm. Since this practice, when engaged in by a married couple, is rooted in love, mutual consent, and a desire to deepen their bond, it is generally seen as a positive and appropriate expression of marital intimacy. The Church does not dictate the specific techniques or methods couples use in their private marital relations, as long as they are within the bounds of marriage and are mutually consensual and loving. Therefore, the practice itself is not sinful; rather, the Church's teachings focus on the context and spirit in which intimacy occurs.

The key differentiator that would move any intimate act outside of acceptable boundaries, regardless of the term used, is whether it is consensual, loving, and occurs within the marriage covenant. If "soaking" leads to greater love, understanding, and connection between husband and wife, and is mutually desired and enjoyed, it aligns with the Church's teachings on strengthening the marital union. Any practice that involves coercion, disrespect, or is outside the bounds of marriage would be contrary to Church teachings. So, the focus remains on the quality of the relationship, the mutual respect, and the loving intent behind the act, rather than the specific nomenclature or physical actions themselves.

How Can Couples Implement Soaking in Their Marriage Respectfully?

Implementing "soaking" respectfully within a marriage, especially within the context of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, hinges on open communication, mutual consent, and a shared understanding of the practice's goals. The first step is for both partners to express their interest in exploring this approach. This should be done in a calm, loving environment, not during or immediately after intimacy, but at a time when both feel relaxed and receptive to discussing their marital relationship. Couples should discuss what "soaking" means to them individually and collectively. Is it about extended foreplay, a different focus on arousal, or a way to build deeper emotional connection through prolonged physical touch? Defining it for yourselves is crucial.

Enthusiastic consent is paramount. This means that both partners are not just passively agreeing but are actively and joyfully participating. Throughout the experience, communication should remain open. Checking in with each other—verbally or non-verbally—about what feels good, what is desired, and if any adjustments are needed is essential. Respecting each other's boundaries is non-negotiable. If one partner expresses any discomfort or a desire to change the pace or focus, the other should immediately honor that without question or pressure. The intention behind soaking is to enhance mutual pleasure and connection, not to meet a performance expectation. Therefore, couples should focus on the journey of intimacy rather than a specific endpoint. Patience with each other, recognizing that intimacy is a skill that develops over time, is also key. If challenges arise, such as differing desires or communication barriers, seeking guidance from a qualified marriage counselor, particularly one who understands faith-based perspectives, can be incredibly beneficial.

What are the Benefits of Soaking for Mormon Wives and Their Husbands?

The benefits of "soaking" for couples in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, when practiced with mutual respect and love, are often centered around deepening their marital connection on multiple levels. One significant benefit is the potential for enhanced emotional intimacy. By extending periods of physical closeness and affection, couples can create a more profound sense of vulnerability and trust, fostering deeper emotional bonds. This can translate into improved communication outside the bedroom as well.

Another key benefit is the focus on mutual pleasure and satisfaction. For some couples, traditional approaches to intercourse may not always fully address the diverse needs and desires of both partners. Soaking offers a framework to explore each other's bodies and responses more thoroughly, ensuring that both husband and wife feel cherished, desired, and fulfilled. This can be particularly empowering for wives, who may find that this approach allows for greater exploration of their own sexual response and pleasure within the sacred context of marriage. Furthermore, by de-emphasizing a singular focus on intercourse or orgasm, soaking can alleviate performance anxiety and pressure, allowing for a more relaxed, enjoyable, and stress-free intimate experience. This can lead to greater overall satisfaction and a more positive association with sexual intimacy. Ultimately, the practice can contribute to a stronger, more resilient marital bond, built on a foundation of shared pleasure, deep connection, and mutual respect, all within the framework of their faith.

How Does Soaking Align with Latter-day Saint Teachings on Marriage and Sexuality?

Soaking, when understood as a practice of prolonged, affectionate, and mutually consensual intimacy between husband and wife, aligns with Latter-day Saint teachings by emphasizing the sacred and unifying nature of marital relations. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that sexual intimacy is a divine gift, meant to strengthen the marital bond and express love within the covenant of marriage. The concept of becoming "one flesh" is central, implying a union that encompasses not just the physical but also the emotional and spiritual dimensions of the relationship. Soaking, by focusing on deep connection, shared pleasure, and extended affection, can be seen as a method to achieve this "oneness" more fully.

The teachings also stress that sexual intimacy should be free from selfishness and focused on mutual love and respect. Soaking, by its nature, encourages couples to be attuned to each other's needs and desires, moving away from a potentially performance-oriented mindset towards a more relational and connection-focused approach. While the Church does not prescribe specific sexual techniques, it does encourage couples to be virtuous, loving, and to honor their marital covenants. If soaking is practiced within these principles—with mutual consent, love, and a desire to strengthen the marital bond—it can be viewed as an extension of these core teachings. The emphasis on intimacy as a way to express love and deepen commitment is entirely consistent with the spiritual and relational aspects of marriage that the Church upholds.

Conclusion

The exploration of "what is soaking in Mormon wives" reveals a practice rooted in a sincere desire to deepen marital intimacy within the framework of faith. It's a testament to how individuals, guided by their understanding of gospel principles, seek to cultivate the most profound connections in their sacred unions. Soaking, while informal and often discussed in hushed tones, represents a conscious effort by some couples to prioritize emotional, spiritual, and physical oneness. It underscores the belief that marital intimacy is a divine gift, meant to be cherished, explored, and used to strengthen the bond between husband and wife. The key to its success, as with all aspects of a healthy marriage, lies in open communication, mutual respect, enthusiastic consent, and a shared commitment to loving and honoring one another within the eternal covenant of marriage.